Chapter One
"The duty of a Resurrector is to save as many lives as he/she can during his/her time in that position." - From Samuel's teachings
From the time I was a kid my entire life was planned. I was supposed to learn everything from the so-called family business so that I could take it over. Never mind the fact that I was horrible at it. Well, perhaps horrible is the wrong word to use because I started out as relatively good but then things shifted and it changed everything for me.
I understood the principles of healing and I had been forced to memorize every single theory possible. If I was to move up into one of the upper management positions then I had to know ever facet of the job. Because of this, they assigned me to the more difficult cases, the humans who would need extra healing attention. For a while I did what I was required to do, and I did not mind it.
However, there comes a time in every teenager's life where they wish to rebel against adult expectations. I was no different at first. I started slacking off in my classes and spent far too much time going out with girls.
I have never told my story to anyone and it is a known fact that they do not speak well of me in my former home. It matters not anymore because I have seen the truth and it was the truth that set me on this path.
#
Perhaps it is best to start at the very beginning. I was born to a race that many do not know of. For the truth of that existence to come out would mean disaster for all of us. We do our best work in the shadows. Do not mistake me, humans can see us but whenever we are sent out after a charge, the memories of those surrounding the charge tend to grow a little hazy.
Anyway, at birth we are given a name, one that is believed to have been chosen for us by Fate itself. Naturally most in my profession receive happy and soothing names. My parents were not so pleased when they heard the name that was to be mine. I am certain that it was my father who caused the greatest commotion of it. No son of his would be given a name that meant ‘death.' It did not bode well for one who was in the business of giving life.
I was the first of all of the Resurrectors to be given a name that did not fit with the profession of healing people and saving lives. As I grew up I became aware of other differences as well, namely the fact that I never tanned and my hair color was darker than anyone else around me. Looking back all of it was a sign to show me that I was meant for a greater purpose.
Other than my appearance I fit in well enough with all the other Resurrectors. I was popular, and none of it had anything to do with the family I was a part of. Typically a Resurrector child knew next to nothing about their parents because they were raised in a sort of daycare program. To form a connection to one's parents was seen as troublesome, something that could get in the way of future lessons or one's work ethic.
It was different for me. Though I was never allowed to address him as such, I knew who my father was.
"Thanos! Pay attention!"
I looked away from the window and fixed my gaze on Samuel, one of the youngest Leaders. "Yes, sir?"
"That is the third time today you have been ignoring the lessons I am teaching. Do it again and I will have to assign you to more studies."
With a shrug I returned my gaze to the window, or more precisely to the courtyard outside the window. There were a few girls out there in whom I was interested. The lessons seemed unimportant anyway. I had already been over them, though Samuel tended to forget that, especially in a public setting. My gaze settled on Danica, a stunning Resurrector with a great heart, personality, and smile. We had been in several classes together and even the Leaders had spoken highly of her skills and work ethic. However, my interest in her was for far different reasons.
On this particular day I planned to invite Danica out to dinner. It was almost inevitable that she would agree. I could tell by the way she smiled at me that she liked being around me, but of course, her Resurrector life came first. The only thing that could keep us apart was work, but even that had to end at some point. We had more numbers of Resurrectors than we needed.
Resurrectors worked in shifts, six hours at a time, though some of us would pull doubles. Danica regularly worked more than she needed to. It was not because of some desire to be the best; she actually enjoyed and took pride in her work. I had heard the Leaders talking about her for weeks now, though they tried to never make it obvious that they were watching her rather closely. There was something about her that made her different.
It had nothing to do with the fact that she was extremely beautiful; all Resurrectors were. Danica had long golden blond hair, and as cliched as it sounded, it did fall down her back in waves. She was honestly the kind of young woman I saw as perfect, and if given the chance to choose someone to spend my life with, I would choose someone like her.
I turned away from looking out the window just as class ended. While I usually would have rushed out of the room, the look in Samuel's eyes told me that he wanted me to stay, meaning he had something he needed to tell me. After everyone else left the room I walked up to him. "Sir?"
"Why do you always insist on ignoring the lessons? It sets a bad example to the others."
"With all due respect, sir, the Leaders did see fit to give me extra sessions and in those I learned what you are currently teaching everyone else. It is not exactly fun to sit through the same lesson multiple times."
Samuel let out a heavy sigh, making it seem to me that he was tired of hearing people tell him the exact same thing. It was probably true as I knew the other Leaders had brought it up to him as well. "You have shown remarkable potential in all of your tests and various one-on-one sessions with the Leaders. It is mostly for that reason that we are going to be sending you out on some of our high priority cases."
#
"Wait," Tamesis said, interrupting me even though I had only started telling my story a couple minutes before. "So you are telling me that Samuel did more than simply do the occasional private lesson?"
I nodded. "There was a time when the Leaders were the ones teaching the lessons and they were occasionally assisted by the more experienced Resurrectors. That all changed after what I did to them by becoming Death. They thought by distancing themselves it would keep it from happening again. However, they had no control in the matter."
"How did they become so utterly biased and pig-headed?" she asked.
I could see that it was something she had wondered about quite a bit and it was understandable. She did not know everything that had happened and it would certainly take time before she heard the entire story. "I hope that will become clear as I tell the story of what happened between myself and the other Resurrectors."
In the past few minutes we had stood on the roof of the facility of Death and I had started my story. It was not one that I particularly wanted to tell but Tamesis had a right to know. It would change a great number of things, with her belief system and with the people in her life. I had to wonder what she would think of me when I reached the end of my story. In the beginning I had told her there were a number of things I was not proud of and it was certainly true. There were a great many things I wished could have happened differently.
My betrayal had changed the lives of many people, including Tamesis and the friends she had when she was a Resurrector. Even worse than that, my betrayal had forever changed how the Leaders handled everything, and the futures of those I deeply cared about. Osten and Ruka had been my best friends but I had not heard anything from them in years. Perhaps the worst change had been the future of Danica. She would have been the best Resurrector out there and if I had not betrayed her trust then she would still be out working in the field. She never would have accepted the offer to become a Leader.
I pulled my hand away from Tam's and took a step back. With the way I felt now, I did not want to stand near her. "Perhaps we should postpone this story for a little while. You will hear the rest of it but we still have work to do and it is getting late."
When I left Tamesis I knew she was upset that I had only told her a tiny portion of the story. It was understandable because she had been asking for the truth since the beginning. Much of what I really had to say to her revolved around Danica. Tamesis did not realize it yet but she knew Danica from her time as a Resurrector.
We both knew her but it was as if she was two completely different people. The Danica that Tamesis knew was the reserved Leader, but I had known her long before all of that, when she was still full of fire and life, believing that what she was doing out in the field was making a change in the world.
As I headed out to Reap the soul of a drug dealer, I found myself thinking back to the conversation I had with Samuel about taking on the high priority cases. It really did not matter that the conversation had taken place decades ago. I could not forget anything that had happened.
#
Of all the things I had expected Samuel to say, this was not even on the list. Basically everything I had heard from him centered on my apparent lack of focus or how I was not living up to my destiny. Perhaps that was why I never really tried. Should we not be able to choose our own destiny?
I had heard the destiny speech from the Leaders practically my entire life. They always said that I was meant for great things and that I needed to be prepared for what was to happen. There was a book in the Leaders' private library that spoke of a Resurrector with a unique name who would bring about a change for the betterment of the world.
They all believed me to be that Resurrector. It was understandable but I had my doubts. First I had never seen the book; the Leaders kept it locked up. I had searched for it before when I was bored. My father heard me question this belief many times but he always told me that I should not question the wisdom of those who came before me.
"What would my responsibilities be? Would I still be expected to go to my classes?" I had to ask. On-duty Resurrectors were the ones who had finished all of their coursework. I had not yet officially graduated so I needed to know what they expected of me.
Samuel shook his head. "As you pointed out earlier, we did see fit to put you in extra sessions and for that reason you are ahead of everyone else in your class. Most of all, Josiah speaks highly of you. He is the one who wants you to take up this position. It will come ahead of everything else in your life. Since it will be necessary for you to go to a charge at any time, it would be distracting to keep you in the classroom."
Well that at least explained why Samuel was so sour about this whole situation. He really had no choice in the matter. Josiah was in charge of the Leaders and his word was absolute. No one dared speak out against him. Josiah was a legend, one of the eldest Resurrectors still around. He had worked far longer in the field than anyone else and only took the position of Leader when the other Leaders told him it was either promotion or moving on.
If Josiah wanted me out in the field then that was what would happen. Sometime soon I would have to seek him out and thank him for advocating on my behalf when it seemed everyone else, including my father, thought that I was not yet ready.
"Thank you, sir. It is a great honor." The words I spoke were the ones I was expected to say. But I was unsure if I believed in the assignment. As glad as I was to be out of the classroom, this position would take a lot of time in my schedule, leaving very little time for socialization.
"You start in the morning. Now get out."
As I had come to expect, Samuel only wanted to see me when he was required to. Most of the time Samuel would not even look at me, whether in class or during private sessions, but today not even his disdain for me was going to ruin my celebration. I had finished my classes and would be out in the field six months before the others in my class. The only other person who had graduated early was Danica. Without realizing it Samuel had given me something I could use to my advantage when asking Danica to dinner. Perhaps this could work out after all.
#
Thinking back to my job then and my job now, they really were not all that different. Both revolved around difficult cases, typically involving those citizens who lived more in the darkness than the rest of society. In my youth healing them had been difficult work as they had destroyed their bodies. Then I had reversed the damage to the best of my ability and now I exploited the damage in order to take their souls in the most painful way possible.
I had seen both sides of the coin: life and death, light and dark, good and evil. People wanted to believe in a world where it was possible to have one but not the other, but those people were fools because there was no way to have one without the other. Together they created a balance that was necessary for existence to continue. Even the seasons changed to create a unique balance for each location in the world.
Even now I wanted to believe that the Leaders and the Resurrectors could see that it was not possible for everyone to live full lives before dying of old age. A great number of people abused their bodies by doing drugs or alcohol, and others had difficulties in life and believed that harming themselves would make them feel better. There were even those who were so tired of their lives they thought up ways to end their lives. Free will was as important as balance.
The Resurrector philosophy took away that free will, forcing people to continue living. Yes, life is extremely valuable and some people were meant to survive through the challenges they faced so they could continue on to do great things. However, other people needed to die so that the lives of others would be altered, whether for better or worse. One death could change the lives of hundreds of people.
That was why I did my job, as a way to help others find a better life. My duty was to go after the criminals and those who had made all the wrong choices. In the beginning I had lamented what I had to do. I saw the pain and the fear and the anger from the men and women I Reaped. It was not a pleasant experience but I had to do it.
So it would be with this drug dealer. With him gone there was a chance to save a few of the good souls he had ensnared with the euphoric high of the powder and smokes he sold. I could only hope that was what would happen. Nothing had saved this man and this was what he became. It was despicable and yet I felt a slight shiver of pleasure pass through me as I thought of how much he would suffer before I finally Reaped his soul.
This was a side of me that I hoped Tamesis would never see. This duty I had was one that would change anyone. Sometimes I felt sick because I knew how much pleasure I got from the suffering of the souls I Reaped. As I solidified in front of the drug dealer I prepared myself for the begging that always came out in between the screams of agony. No amount of begging would save them from me. With Tam there was always a chance for redemption but neither the Reapers nor I could offer that.
Also, unlike the others, my style of Reaping was entirely different. They could do it at a distance but I needed to touch them. I walked towards the drug dealer, years of practice keeping my face impassive despite the anticipation of pleasure building up inside. He noticed my presence just as I removed my left glove. A needle was still stuck in his arm and he stared up at me with unfocused eyes, lost in a hallucination that would be his last.
I put my hand on his chest and looked him directly in the eyes. This was my curse, my addiction. Much like the drugs had consumed his life, this sensation had taken a firm hold on my own existence. I could not fight the urges of desire for this and I had stopped trying to fight it years ago. As his body began to jolt and spasm from the overdose of sensation hitting his pain receptors, I smiled. It was my reaction to Reaping that I tried to keep others from seeing. Only Addie knew the truth.
I knew it was wrong to keep this secret from Tam but I feared her reaction. She had dealt with so much already these past months and now she deserved a little break from the craziness, at least for a brief time. We were now trapped in the ongoing war between Resurrectors and Death.
Focusing on my prey, I intensified the pain rushing through him until his body literally could not survive any longer. His eyes rolled up into his head and his rigid body fell over. Reaching over with my right hand I slid his eyelids shut. There was no reason for someone to find him with his eyes open, staring blankly, even if that would be an image that could stick in their mind and perhaps even change their life. No, I was not completely heartless.
I walked away and pulled my glove back on before vanishing into the swirling gray mist on my way home.
As I suspected, Tam was waiting in my study. She was extremely persistent and now that I had promised to tell her my story, I knew she would always be around, waiting until I caught her up on everything.
She turned in her seat to look at me. "So, what happened when you told your friends about your promotion? Were they jealous? Did they ask a lot of questions? And then what about your plans to ask Danica to dinner?"
She had to know how to answer that last question. Any chance I had had with Danica ended when I chose to become Death. It was obvious that Tam was extremely curious about all of this and I understood that. Knowing my past was a way for her to feel closer to me, especially after I told her that we could never be together.
"Are you certain that you want to hear all of this? It may change your opinion on a number of people you know."
She did not even hesitate before she nodded. "I want to know everything."
I walked over and sat down in the chair across from her. Perhaps it was yet another curse that caused me to remember every detail of my life, but for the purpose of telling her that knowledge was almost a blessing.
#
Right after I left the classroom I knew exactly who I wanted to tell my news to first and that was Ruka. We had been like brothers since our Resurrector daycare days. It was almost silly to say that we had always shared our snacks and toys back then but we had. When one of us would fall the other would be there to help the fallen up.
Even the Leaders knew that it was useless to separate us. If it had not been for the difference in our skin tones it would have been nearly impossible to tell us apart. We both had the same, almost shaggy, black hair, and blue eyes, though Ruka's had a tendency to change depending on his mood. However, while I had extremely pale skin, his was a tan indicative of those who spent too much time outside.
As usual I found Ruka in the cafeteria. It was probably a good thing that the cafeteria never closed because Ruka ate more than anyone else in the facility, and yet he never gained a pound. When he saw me he dropped his fork and sat up straight. Then he smiled and gestured for me to join him at the table.
"Now dish. I want to know everything that Danica said to you when you asked her out. Maybe we could even do a double date. I'm sure I could get Roxanne or Mara to go with me. It doesn't even matter that you've already dated them."
"Take it easy. I have not even asked her yet."
"Why not? Come on, I know you and you have never hesitated this much when it comes to asking girls out. I know that it's Danica but you can only hold back so much."
"Samuel held me back after class and by the time he finished, she had left the courtyard."
The smile left Ruka's face and I saw his blue eyes darken a couple shades. He knew how much I did not like Samuel and he knew about every time Samuel singled me out. "What did he want this time?"
"Actually he wanted to tell me that I am finished with classes. Apparently Josiah is impressed by my work from the private sessions and he wanted me to start in the field with some of their high priority cases."
"Man, that is brilliant! Of course, they should have had someone other than Samuel give you the news."
I merely shrugged. There were several reasons why they gave Samuel the privilege of telling me about my early graduation, but there were some things I simply would not say, even to my best friend.
Then, as if he could tell what I had thought earlier, Ruka started to grin. "This is perfect. You are the only other person from our class to have graduated early. Surely Danica will see that and it could make it easier to get that date."
I could not help but smile in return. "I thought the same thing. Look, I should probably go now. I need to talk to Danica and then get my things ready for work tomorrow."
Ruka nodded. "Tell me everything later."
I knew he was mostly referring to Danica, though he would listen to what I had to say about work as well. "Of course I will. You know that."
No comments:
Post a Comment